I Hate Jumping Jacks

My Hunny had been really complaining about his weight lately. So when is birthday came around this month I thought I'd get him something to get him back into shape. Honestly I was just planning on getting him some weights and perhaps some protein powder to make him some shakes in the morning, but then I remembered a fitness program that I wanted to get him about 2 years ago (to get him into shape to return to the police academy). 

P90X.

So he's been doing it for about a week and I already see a difference in his body. Crazy, I know. 

So I'm thinkin', "Perhaps mama should be getting some of this P90X action 'cause mama needs a new pair of shoes!". Oh wait, that's not it..."mama need to work off this baby fat!" Yup that's it.

So I did the fitness test required before beginning the program. I just barely squeak by the minimum requirements. I probably could have done better but I'm so lazy.

Then came the jumping jacks. 2 minutes of the most basic exercise known to man.

The first 20 seconds were ok. Then my body realized that I wasn't going to stop and it began to fight back.

I became keenly aware of all my (extra) giggly bits as I jumped and jacked. 

My saddle bags began to ache.

I pushed harder and harder...I gave it all I had...I dug down deep...I cringed...an unholy grunt came through my clenched teeth...

Surely I must be close to finishing.

"20 seconds left", my Hunny says encouragingly, "til a 1 minute 30 sec."

What?! You mean it's only been 1 minute 10 seconds?? Nooooo!!!

My body gave out at 1 min. 30 sec.

It was a very humbling moment.

So starting this Friday, Vintage Mama is doing P90X. Prayers welcomed.

Free Download: Keep Track Of Your Weight Loss

So as you can gather from my posts this year, I'm totally set to lose this post baby fat and get myself a rockin' pin-up body. I've kept track of my measurements for the past 3 years so I can see exactly what my measurements were before baby number 2 and 3. Seeing how fit (and fat!) I was before helps me to stay motivated. My little journal is pretty much filled up so I decided I should create a log so I can just print them out as I go. Creating one also gives me the flexibility to keep track of exactly what I want as well as making it super cute with pin-up pictures all over to make me happy. 


You can download the pdf file here. Save it. Use it. Share it.


Here are some tips on how to use it:

• Record your measurements once a month, preferably 1 week after your monthly cycle
• Refer to this guide for tape measure placement
• There are 2 large spaces for you to put pictures of yourself. I suggest putting one from the front view and one from a side view. 
• Use this online calculator to determine your body fat %. It will give you 2 numbers, one using the US Navy calculator and the other using the YMCA calculator. You can choose either number to record, just remember which one you are choosing so that you can accurately monitor your weight loss. 

I want to create more files like this to help vintage mama's keep track of fitness, personal care or style so if you have any suggestions please share them in the comments below!

Your New Years THINspiration Look Book

I bet I can guess what one of your resolutions is. Get fit right? Man, I'm good! Losing weight is the number one New Year's resolution, and for vintage mamas like us, looking like a Betty should be number one...well after God, husbands, children and country of course.

No matter what you plan is for losing weight and getting fit, staying motivated is a must. Here are some things that I have done to motivate and thinspire me:

• Displayed My Skinny Dress - I have this darling black with white polka dot wiggle dress that my sister gave me while I was pregnant (what a cruel joke), and I've never been able to wear it. So I put a nail on the door and hung up my precious dress do that I can see it and be encourage everyday.
• Put Up My Fat Pictures - That's right, my fat pictures. I've tried putting up my skinny pictures, but they didn't have that shock value I need. If I'm going to have the will power to refuse a second helping, I need to see something that will horrify me to the very core. Hence the fat pictures.
• Threw Out My Frumpy Fat Clothes - I'm not sure how they got there, but I had some frumpy looking clothes that was making me feel extra wide. So even if I just wore at home, I threw out those frumpy, fat clothes that were weighing me down.
• Created A "Thinspirational" Look Book - Even though I say thin, I don't mean super model thin. Frankly, I know that I could never be that thin, and I'm actually quite fond of my giggly bits. So I created a look book with real women that have giggly bits to keep me motivated and inspired. Take a look...

1940's Hair Styles - Free Download (updated)

Hello mama's! I hope that everyone had a glorious Christmas. I know I did! My Hunny really spoiled me this year with 2 new pairs of maryjanes, a classic black peacoat, hair curlers and curling iron! Can yo believe it? My Hunny sure is good to me. Now a little something for you...

I was browsing amazon looking for hairstyling books when I came across Daniela Turudich's 1940's hair Styles. I know most of you were pretty familiar with this book, but I'm kinda' new to the vintage hairstyling world so I wasn't. I took a peek in amazon when I had a deja vu moment. I've seen this before...hmmm.

So I went searching around my saved eBooks when I found the complete book in pdf! Oh yes honey, I have the complete book here, free for you to download!

What's the catch? None, all I ask is that you subscribe to my lovely, little blog and if you have already, would you please tell a friend? Pretty please?

Update: A felony? Oh no! Oh I'm so naive when it comes to this legal stuff. Good thing my Hunny's got my back! Turns out that by offering this book free to download I'm infringing on copyrights, so alas I had to remove it and anyone who saved the link will be sorely disappointed as I have now locked it. I know it's not nearly the same thing but I do have something else to share...

My World Famous Mediterranean Salt Glow! Oh yes world famous...well it could have been. On an earlier post I shared with you about how I sold french soaps and handmade body goodies at farmers markets. Well this recipe was for my most popular salt glow. In fact, I still have customers emailing me years later about purchasing it. So please accept my sincere apologies about having to remove the link and I hope that this divine salt glow will make it all better!

Product Review: Hip Slimmer 2000

Yay! My first product review! Now before we get started, I want to disclose that I am not getting paid for this review nor did I receive my Hip Slimmer for free (darn). I actually bought this and used it. Okay on with the show!

Well first, it's not actually called the Hip Slimmer 2000, just Hip Slimmer (I added the 2000 to get your attention. It worked didn't it?). The reason I bought this, as many mamas already know, is because my hips widened after babies. I already had some pretty bodacious hips before my babies, but boy howdy I got some BODACIOUS HIPS after! Sure I like my curves, but mine were almost offensive! (tee hee). So I got to lookin' around to see if anything could be done.

The Hip Slimmer is a corset that claims to encourage the hips to go back together after child birth.

During pregnancy, female hormones such as relaxin and progesterone are released. Relaxin, as its name applies, causes the body’s connective tissue and joints to relax and loosen. In particular, the symphisis pubis and the sacroiliac joints widen which allows your pelvis to accommodate the enlarging uterus and eventual passage of your baby. These hormones do not return to their pre-pregnancy levels until after delivery, leaving your hips malleable. Many women complain that this widening leaves a lasting effect on their hips.

The truth is that the joints, especially the hips, do loosen and widen for child birth. So in theory one could apply gentle, consistent pressure to bring them back together before the joints get set in their position after pregnancy. Sounds reasonable to me, but what about the price?

I bought mine from the company website and paid $64 plus shipping. Not a huge chunk of change, but considering your only gonna use it for a few weeks, it kinda' is. I was willing to pay though because Baby Carlitos is probably (unless God has other plans) gonna be my last baby, which means it's the last time my joints will be loose enough to squeeze them back together. That's the reasoning I told my husband which convinced him I needed it.

It arrived within the week wrapped in pretty tissue paper. As soon as I opened it I knew it meant business. It had very sturdy construction, seams were tight, laces were thick and no fraying whatsoever. The Hip Slimmer was here and it was going to bring those hips together whether you like or not!

It didn't come with the instructions (hmm, that's weird), so I had look them up on their company website. I slipped it on over my yoga pants, tightened those laces like nobodies business and stood back. Aaahhhh! I had the most horrendous muffin top EVER!

I have (french accent)...how you say...junk in the trunk? Oh yes Mama got some junk in the trunk and the Hip Slimmer just pushed it all up! It was hideous, shamful and even vulgar. After I came to, I made peace with my muffin top (that is temporary until I get my sexy back) and vowed only to wear the corset only when I was home alone.

Though I looked awful, it really wasn't that uncomfortable. It just felt really snug. There was no pinching or scratching. The size large just barely fit over my ginormous hips, but once I tightened the laces it fit well. Sitting down was a bit of a challenge, but if I put low enough over my hips (really over my booty) then it didn't slide up when I sat down.

The instructions say to wear it for "several hours for the first couple of months". Honestly I wore mine for about 1-2 hours (sometimes 3), 4-5 days per week for the first 6 weeks, and I tightened the laces as tight as I could (though I still didn't feel uncomfortable). The only uncomfortable time was at night. I noticed that my hips would feel sore at night if I had worn the corset that day. Not from the outside where the corset sat on my hips, but rather from my bones where I assumemy hips were coming back together.

My results were very good. I lost a total of 3 inches off of my hips! Well worth the money I invested. I have since then tucked away my Hip Slimmer in my just-in-case-maternity box just in case there's another plus sign in my future.

Now about this muffin top...

How to get an hour glass shape instantly!

(Virginia Mayo)

Pear...apple...celery...No matter what body type or weight you are, you can have a beautiful hourglass shape just like the darlings of times gone by. Here are some super simple tricks to cinch the waist and create bodacious hips:

• Wear A-line cut skirts and dresses. This cut minimizes the waist and is excellent for all body shapes.

• Wear a belt or sash at the waist. This draws in the eye to the middle to accentuate a small waist and lovely hips.
  

• Wear a wrap dress. Created by Diane von Furstenberg in 1973, the wrap dress easy to wear no matter what body shape.

• Wear a waist-length or belted coat.

• Wear a pencil skirt or wiggle dress. This will hug every curve to really maximize the hour glass effect. Just make sure you wear the right undergarments! (see below)

• Wear a bullet bra. This amazing bra not only takes years off of drooping girls, but also makes your waist appear smaller.

• Wear a waist cincher or corset.

• Wear a fanny enhancer.
  
  

  

So there you have it ladies! Everything you need to create a beautiful hourglass shape instantly.

So are you ready for some dangerous curves?

How to feel blonde all over...according to Marilyn

"I never cared especially for outdoor sports, and have no desire to excel at tennis, swimming or golf. I'll leave those things to the men. Despite its great vogue in California, I don't think sun-tanned skin is any more attractive than white skin, or any healthier, for that matter. I'm personally opposed to a deep tan because I like to feel blond all over."

-Marilyn Monroe from the Sept. 1952 issue of Pageant

I found this great article entitled "How I Stay in Shape". It has great insight into Marilyn's health and fitness regiment as well as wonderful candid photos of her. Enjoy!

Apple Cider Vinegar: The Original Vintage Beauty Aid

Before Liposuction, Summer's Eve, Dr. Scholl or Pro-Active there was Apple Cider Vinegar . Yes ladies, although simple in it's appearance, apple cider vinegar can do the job of all of these but in a much safer and simpler fashion. Here are some recipes that I have used with great success:

1. Skin & Health Tonic (internal) - Mix 1-2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar, 1 cup of apple juice, 1 cup of water and 1/8 teaspoon of baking soda. I like to sip this throughout the mid morning to help to keep the munchies away 'til lunch. Taking apple cider vinegar this way can help reduce the appearance of cellulite, clear cystic acne, reduce grey hairs, and help to slowly and permanently lose weight.
2. Clearing Hair Rinse (external) - Mix 2 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar with 3 drops of Lavender Essential Oil and 2 drops of Rosemary Essential Oil in a large cup. After shampooing your hair, add 2 cups of warm water to the apple cider vinegar mixture and pour this over your scalp and hair. Let it sit for 5 min. then rinse and condition. This helps to exfoliate the scalp, remove product and hard water build up, kill dandruff-causing fungus and bacteria and smooths cuticles so your hair is super soft and shiny!
3. Skin Tonic (external) - Mix 1 part water with 1 part apple cider vinegar and apply to blemishes throughout the day. This is especially helpful with those stress induced blemishes. And this wont leave a scar like Pro-Active does!
4. Feminine Refresher (external) - Mix 1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar with warm water (enough to fill a peri bottle or other squirt bottle). Use this mixture to rinse the external feminine area. Especially refreshing after your monthly or when you feel a little "itch" coming on.
5. Feet Refresher (external) - Mix 1/2 cup of apple cider vinegar with 2 liters of warm water. This can help soften callus' and get rid of other foot nasties. For especially stubborn athletes foot apply apple cider vinegar directly to affected area. It will burn, but it will definitely clear it up!

*Remember to only use Organic Raw Apple Cider Vinegar *

Which bombshell body are you?

If you think you're 10,000 sit-ups away from having a body like your favorite vintage vixen think again. Simply calculate your waist to hip ratio here and see which Hollywood bombshell body you're really like!

Perhaps your body isn't quite ready for your close-up. I know mine isn't! No worries ladies, I'll be writing more on how yesterday's and today's vintage beauties get that bombshell body and timeless glam!

.71

Bette DavisGinger Rogers

.69

Grace Kelly


Jean HarlowJoan Crawford .68

Lana Turner

.67
Rita Hayworth .66

Betty Page

.64

Raquel Welch
Dita Von Teese Veronica Lake .63
Marilyn Monroe

Sophia Loren

Mae West
Sorry ladies...couldn't find any vintage vixens with .62, .61 or .6. If I do, I will fill in the gaps.

.59

Audrey Hepburn

.58

Elizabeth Taylor

.57

Bridget Bardot

.56

Jayne Mansfield

From pregnant to pin-up: How did pin-up models lose that baby fat?

"Congratulations! It's a boy!" Oh what joy, what excitement, what bliss, what... what happened to my body! Now I'll be the first to admit that my body wasn't "pin-up" ready before pregnancy. In fact, I was still working on losing the baby fat from baby#2 when we found out about baby #3. So now, as I sit with my thoughts in my middle of the night breastfeedings, I started to wonder how the glamour girls of yesterday got their figures back. It was pretty tough finding out their secrets. Here is what I found out in my research as well as stuff that was popular at the time and advice from my grandma.

{Things the glamour girls probably did that we should do}

• Wear a postpartum girdle -My grandma gave me a girdle after my 1st son, and I never wore it. Sadly I was left the the infamous "mommy pooch". With my 2nd son I wore a light support girdle and my tummy went down quickly, though I was still left with the pooch. So now after my 3rd son I took heed to my grandma's advice and wear a heavy-duty postpartum girdle. After 2 weeks I'm happy to report that my tummy has gone down to nearly normal and even my pooch is starting to disappear. Grandma does know best!
  
  
  
  
• Cod liver oil - You might remember me recommending this supplement in a previous article. In the 40's & 50's, cod liver oil was considered so vital that it was given to children every morning in school and recommended for infants. So because of it's popularity (and it's nutritional value of course!), our pin-ups probably took cod liver oil to help get themselves back into shape.


• Uterine Massage - Still recommended today, uterine massage helps to shrink the uterus back to it's normal size. Massaging also helps to stimulate blood flow to skin tissue to repair stretched skin. Try using a nourishing oil like Jackie O's favorite sweet almond oil for even more benefits!

• Weight Training - We've all admired Marylin's famous pic of her weight training, and considering that Jayne Mansfield's husband was a weight trainer, she most likely weight trained as well. If it worked for them it'll work for me!


• Minimal Processed Food - Need I explain ladies? They didn't eat protein bars, no red bulls, or soy shakes. They did however have fruit, yogurt, cheese, nuts, and milk. Basically, they ate real food!

{Things the glamour girls probably didn't do but should have done}

• Breastfeed - Breastfeeding was at an all time low in the 50's. That is a shame because not only is it a super food for baby, but it also helps mom to lose baby fat and shrink the uterus to normal size quickly.


• Hip Slimmer - Okay this one really isn't fair, it wasn't available in the 30's, 40's, or 50's. But we have it now baby! This nifty corset sits low at the hips to help your hips return to normal.


• Pilates - Although Joseph Pilates was training and promoting his philosophy of body conditioning in the 50's, it was not nearly as popular as it is today. Pilates exercises fit the pin-up mentality of exercise to a T; it's enjoyable, energizing, no grunting or hard bodies, creates long muscles with lots of natural curves.

{Things the glamour girls might have done that we definitely should not}

• Crash Diet - Even back then there were plenty starvation diets that were popular. Some starlets even resorted to "diet" pills. Not a good idea then, and not a good idea now.


• Smoking - Cigarettes were advertised as a healthy way to lose or maintain your weight. Yuck. No thanks.

Lastly, remember that though yesterdays glamour girls seemed practically perfect after baby, but they weren't. If you look closely at Jayne's picture above, you can see her stretched out tummy. Is she any less hot? Of course not! So let's shoot for "better", not "perfect".

From Pitiful to Perky: Firming Up Saggy Breasts

Last week I shared with you the many things that contribute to saggy breasts. And by now you have hopefully decided to put an end to crash dieting, quit smoking and come to terms with the effects of gravity. But what's next? We fight the good fight of course! So here's the plan to keep (or reclaim) our breasts fabulously firm!
~Find a bra that fits~
Much easier said than done I know. Shopping for a bra is sorta' like shopping for jeans...exhausting and depressing. To make it easier on yourself get professionally fitted, and I don't mean the sales girl in the lingerie department. Find a boutique that specializes in undergarments, have them fit you and try on a million bras. Tedious? Yes. Worth it? Definitely!

~Give the girls a good rub down~
Massaging your breasts on a daily basis help to increase circulation and relieve lymphatic build up. Here's a nice video clip that demonstrates how to drain the lymph from your breasts.

When you massage your breasts, concentrate on lifting and molding your breast tissue in the way you feel they should be, up and out. Remember that an ill-fitting bra probably pushed your boobies towards your underarms so you have to coax it back where it belongs. Although you can use any lotion or oil to massage, I prefer to use oils that are packed with skin healing properties such as virgin coconut oil, camelina oil, pumpkin seed oil and emu oil, or you can also use a firming bust cream (more on that later).

~Nourish your boobies from the inside out~

1. Cod Liver Oil with High Vitamin Butter Oil: Cod Liver oil is loaded with omega 3 fatty acids that help to keep the skin moisturized and plump. Vitamin A in cod liver oil helps to regenerate healthy breast tissue keeping it smooth and supple. Take it along with the butter oil to boosts the effects.

2. Organic Berries, especially Acai: It's no secret. Berries are a power house of antioxidants that reduce and prevent wrinkle formation. Plus they're super yummy too!

3. Virgin Coconut Oil: Virgin Coconut Oil is extracted from fresh coconut meat rather than the dry hull. It smells just like fresh coconut milk too! It's loaded with enzymes, antioxidants and essential fatty acids (in the perfect proportions). Most importantly it has saturated fat which it vital for healthy, hydrated skin cells.

Don't believe fat is important for healthy skin? This is what skin looks like when deprived of fat...

Teri Hatcher's skin looks dry, flaky, thin and fragile

Ava Gardner's skin on the other hand still looks plump, dewy and smooth though she is much older in this picture than Teri is in the picture above.

~Bust Creams...and I don't mean the ones that claim to grow your peaches into watermelons!~

Use a bust cream with peptides. Here some info on the science behind peptides, but basically they firm up your skin. You can use this cream to massage your breasts or mix in a little oil to give it more slip.

~Exercise Your Boobies, or rather the muscles underneath them~

Here's exercise that is done with light weights. Pay no mind to those "bigger bosom" ads, I like you just the way you are!

This exercise is so creative! All you need are some dust rags and a smooth floor.

~Use a Reshaping Bra...maybe~

A reshaping bra claims to retrain the breast tissue back to it's correct position,up and out. There are two brands , Jeunique and Ardyss, that I have found. I was very curious about these bras so I bought 4 from Jeunique and decided to give it a go. I used it for about 2 weeks and was pleased with the immediate "perky" results. They definitely gave me that sweater girl look. At the moment however, I'm living in nursing tank tops and sleeping nursing bras, so I will have to revisit the reshaping bra and give you a more thorough review later.

So there you have it ladies, your plan to win the fight against Saggy Boob Syndrome! Good luck and make sure you give me an update on your results.

Do you want your boobs to sag?

Of course not! Neither do I! But after doing some heavy duty research, I found that I was doing several things to actually accelerate the droop. And chances are you're doing the same! Read on and find out the many reasons that our precious boobies can sag and deflate.

Wrong Size Bra:

• Can distort breast tissue and push it downwards or towards your under arms.


• Can decrease circulation which minimizes nourishment to breast tissue and accumulation of cellular waste (lymph).


• Won't support your breasts and can damage the Cooper's Ligaments which are responsible to keeping your "girls" upright. Sadly, this is known as "coopers droopers".

Rapid or Extreme Weight-loss:

• Won't give your breasts the time or nourishment they need to repair and adjust to their new size.

Pregnancy and Lactation:

• Makes your boobies grow super big, super fast only to leave you with stretch marks and droop. This will happen even if you decide not to breastfeed.


• Although breastfeeding itself won't make your boobies sag, the wrong technique can.


• Numerous pregnancies lead to saggier breasts.

Hormones and Menopause:

• Begin to shrink the milk ducts and leave your boobies feeling empty and saggy.


• Decrease estrogen levels. Estrogen triggers collagen production.

Poor Diet, Smoking and Sun Damage:

• Doesn't give your breast tissue the nourishment it needs to be healthy and firm.


• Creates free radicals and damages breast tissue.


• Dramatically decreases elastin resulting in saggy, fragile looking skin.

Genetics and Normal Aging:

• The larger they are, they sooner they fall.


• Gravity has no mercy.

Although there are some things that are unavoidable (like gravity), and others that we willingly choose to continue to do (like have babies!), there are several things we can do to prevent further damage to our breasts.

Obviously quitting smoking and slow weight loss can help prevent saggy boobies, but what else can we do? Is there any real hope to repair and perk up our tired looking breasts? Yes there is! Stay tuned for the next installment in our fight against Saggy Boob Syndrome where I'll separate the miracles from the snake oils!

Correcting and Preventing the dreaded Saggy Boob Syndrome

We all fear it. And no matter how small we think our bust is...gravity will manage a way to drag us down. I'm talking about Saggy Boob Syndrome, or SBS for short. What causes our once perky breasts to droop? What can we do to prevent SBS? Is there any hope once our luscious breasts begin their decline? Is surgery the only way? My goal over the next several weeks is to answer all of these questions and more! If there is any hope for my ...oops...I mean "our"... boobies I will find it!

Join the fight against SBS! Leave a comment!

Stay tuned for "Do You Want Your Boobs to Sag"?

No Sweat Exercise for your Tummy

Belly dancers have always been known for their incredible tummies. In this clip, the instructor shows the correct posture for belly dancing. I made a concience effort to keep this posture all day (plus a did a little practice belly dancing when I passed by the mirror :>), boy did I feel it the next day! This simple position works the inner most ab muscles that help to keep your tummy looking flat. Check it out!